A Consultant Heart Surgeon at the Freeman Hospital arrives at Geordie’s bed & draws the curtain
“How are you doing Mr Smith?”, he asks Geordie
“Wey not to bad Doctor ye knaa, cannit grumble”
“Well I suppose you could Mr Smith, I have been looking at your latest test results and you have a tremedous amount of damage to the arteries supplying blood to your heart, can I ask if you smoke?”
“Wey ah have a couple a day ye knaa, nee more than 2 packets of backy a week though”
“I see, and how long have you been smoking”, asked the consultant
“Wey about 60 years now like”, replied Geordie
“So you started when you were were about 1 then” replied the consultant wryly
“Nah Man Doctor ye cheeky bugger ! … I was at least ten or eleven like”
Bloke goes to see a geordie doctor, he says “doctor me armpits smell of coconuts” the doctor says “well they’re bounty”.
Whats the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
A Kangaroo is a Marsupial native to Australia
A Kangaroot is what a Geordie says if hes stuck in a lift.
Why did the Geordie get excited when he finished a jigsaw puzzle after 9 months?
It said 2-4 years.