Club members and guests from Round Table 88 arrived at the Crescent Hotel to be greeted by an imposing figure with ginger hair poking out from under a Tam o’Shanter. This person, on closer inspection, turned out to be Tom Cathcart, or Tommy Burns as he became known later in the evening.

Due respect was given to the Scottish Bard with members dressed in black tie (except one whom we won’t mention but I am looking at you, Richard Clark). The Haggis was duly piped in with due ceremony, the Piper going on to make his Address to the Haggis with suitable dramatic oratory.

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm

During the long-armed grace the warm-reekin’, rich Haggis was put to the sgian-dubh (dirk or dagger) and despatched. After which, members enjoyed a fine menu of:

Haggis, Tatties and Neeps starter
Steak Pie, with vegetables
Cranachan

The Chairman took the opportunity early in the evening to alert members to the potential of undercover Financial Times reporters in disguise. He warmly welcomed the Chairman of Round Table, Asif Firfirey, and his significant entourage, to the meeting. Job done, he then proceeded to drown his Newcastle United Nil sorrows in Scotch (Black and White brand).

John White gave a fine rendition of “The Selkirk Grace”. Tommy Burns, in between the music, provided an excellent talk on Rabbie Burns, his life, his work, and his love-life.

The raffle of a bottle of malt, won by somebody who wasn’t me, raised a substantial sum towards the Club’s charitable efforts.

TC provided even more whisky to propose a toast to Mr Burns, to the Haggis, to Round Table, and to as many good causes as we could think of until it ran out.

All in all, a fine evening of good food, drink and fellowship, courtesy of the Crescent team and our Piper, suitably orchestrated by Messrs Cathcart and White, to whom grateful thanks were given (and, of course, a toast of whisky proposed).

Yours aye

David Henderson

Ps Sincere apologies that, due to a technical hitch, the video of the Haggis entering the room with the Piper has not rendered. This is a complete cock-up by the Acting Under-Assistant Deputy Stand-in Substitute Roving Club Reporter. He should be sacked and never asked to do it again. Video of TC’s speech is below the gallery.

Click on any image to view the photo gallery.

Video